When I Grow Up

Within the last month, I ran across a writing contest that presented the following question: "when did you know that you had become an adult?" I've thought about that question nearly every day, and I think I've come up with a pretty good answer. It not only captures when I felt like I became an adult, but I think it also sums up how and when I start to view other people as adults, too.

I think people, myself included, become adults when their general priorities begin to include others. Basically, it's when the super ego kicks in, and, honestly, in today's society, I see a lot of kids' in adult bodies and adults in kids bodies, too. I've run into men and women who have been given the opportunities to become adults and have rejected them because their id has become too active. Examples? Men and/or women leaving their wives and kids because they just don't want all that responsibility or want to keep "playing the field" without caring for those they have sex with, divorced men and women who go clubbing, out with friends, etc. more often than being a parent to their kids, men and women who continuously accept gifts from family and friends and never find a way to show the same. With how much our society is promoting this self-gratification, it's no wonder more and more kids in adult skins show up.

On the flip side, there are adults in kids' bodies out there, too! It truly astonishes me when I see a child taking care of all of his/her siblings so a parent can work nights or weekends. I've also seen kids (a few) who take turns making dinner so parents can take a minute to relax. Even heavier, I have seen siblings pull together to help raise an infant, and all of these examples push the super ego into activating itself very early.

As I reflect on my own life, I think I became an adult when I stopped dating simply because it amused me and made me feel good and began sharing that happiness with the person I was dating. I started caring about when he felt bad and what goals and obstacles were in his life. Even more so, I started dating a man who actually wanted someone else (me) to be a part of his life and go through the fun and adventure with him, which means he was an adult, too.

The adults in our world are those who look out for others as well as themselves, and I certainly hope adults are the ones having children, leading countries, heading businesses, and multiplying over the kids in adults' skin.