Entitlement

Over the last few years, the word, "entitlement," has begun popping up in discussions and articles. The word basically means "the right to benefits." The idea of it sounds wonderful. Basically, I have the right to get certain good things for free. However, in the United States, this idea of entitlement has become a major issue at all levels.

Ironically, a country that had to earn its freedom the hard way has begun promoting among many of its people that they don't need to worry about "the hard way" anymore. Why? Well, quite simply, we believe we're better. It's true. Think about our mind sets. AIDS is rampant in Africa, yet many here don't even know that's happening because it would never get to that level here. Why? We're better. I don't want to provide for that family that shouldn't be here. Why? I'm better. Interestingly enough, we aren't better where it really matters sometimes, yet the mentality of being superior breeds entitlement, and it's out of control.

Let's begin with our children. We love them and provide for them, and we never EVER want to say "no." Why? It's because we were "deprived" as children and want the best for ours. However, deprivation did not exactly produce deprived children. In fact, it produced empathetic children who knew what it was like to sometimes go without, so they grew up to be charitable and to think of others in unfortunate circumstances. It also produced imagination since making up games and situations emerged from being bored.

A few years ago, a high school student from a wealthy background was asked by a teacher if he planned on donating a $5.00 toy to an organization for children with terminal illnesses. His answer? "Why should I bother? The kid's going to die anyway." Lack of sympathy and going without leads to answers like this. Ok. Someone else may argue that the kid just said this as a response to forgetting to buy one and trying to be funny. He never needs to put others ahead of himself because his parents have taught him that he doesn't have to do that. Entitlement yet again appears. The terminally ill child learned when he/she got sick that he/she, unfortunately, isn't entitled to live to old age, and yet the one who will wears the concept like a necklace.

Effort is effected by entitlement as well. "If I am going to do this, what do I get?" Falling into this area would be payment for grades, prenuptial agreements, birthday parties, religion, graduation parties, goody bags, trophies for finishing 2nd to 18th place, rewards for volunteering, summer reading, and even (my personal favorite) pushing out a child from one's body. Sadly, if you go back about twenty or thirty years, some of these "rewards" didn't even exist. Today, new rewards stemming from entitlement appear every day, and each one teaches kids and adults that the natural reward you get from something
(AKA a child for pushing) isn't often as good as the reward you get for just making the attempt.

The damage from entitlement is far-reaching. We now have kids who cheat on tests because they want to get $50 for that "A" instead of $40 for that "B." We have people sending soggy PB & J sandwiches to people building houses for the poor so they can get free tickets (valued at $80) to a theme park. We have women who expect "babymoons" and "push gifts" when they are pregnant. We have kids who didn't even bring a gift to a birthday party demanding their goody bags from the host as they leave early. Even the volleyball team that came in dead last asked when they'd get their medals for finishing 14th out of 14 teams.

Through these examples, one can plainly see a byproduct of this entitlement issue, narcissism. If we keep allowing people to claim they deserve something for nothing, they'll start thinking that when this DOESN'T work, the person saying "no" is being unkind, unfair, mean, rude, bitchy, or (another favorite) unreasonable! Visit our Florida schools to see this one. In one county, it is now "inappropriate" to "give" a zero on a test. Now, if a child misses every single question on a test, no lower than a 50% is allowed. By this "reasoning," if I know I can't answer more than 40% of the questions correctly, I'll just randomly guess. I'll actually get a higher grade that way. Other schools get phone calls from parents complaining that a teacher hates their kid, hence the 55% in that class. Even administrators will urge teachers to accept late work months after it was due so the sleeping kid can pass. Since when are kids entitled to pass high school?

So how does America stop this trend? There is no easy way. The #1 way to stop it is by learning to use one word that very few people like to hear. Here it is............"No." When we start learning to be patient and to sometimes go without, entitlement begins to shrink because we are forced to learn that others have power, too, and learning to negotiate and accept is even more important than winning all the time. Though we earned our freedom, we've got a history of entitlement even older than the American Revolution. Want proof? Go talk to a Native American.

A Whale of a Problem

As many people know, a killer whale trainer died at Sea World on Tuesday. She had worked with the killer whales for over ten years, and in about one minute, she was killed by one of them. This same orca is responsible for the death of one other and is looked at suspiciously in the death of another.

Several people have talked to me about it, especially since most people who've known me awhile know how much of an interest I have in these animals. Ever since I was about 8, I've been so fascinated about them. When I read about the incident on Tuesday, a chill went right up my spine.

I didn't know Dawn personally, but I knew of her. I was insanely jealous of her, too. She had the job I always wanted. She got to swim with them and perform with them every day, and then one of them ended her life. The longer I worked at Sea World, the more I hated the idea of keeping these animals in particular in captivity. I used to show up for work an hour or so early to just sit in the stadium and watch them swim. I started realizing that I enjoyed that more than ANY show with them in it. They were playful with each other and oblivious to the trainers watching them. It was the closest I could come to seeing them in the wild.

So when the show, "Believe," premiered, I soon realized why I hated it so much. It wasn't just the stupid expensive screens that moved or the fact that the actual orcas were barely in the show. It was the fact that the show misrepresented these animals in nearly every way. While the previous show at least mentioned, if even for only 30 seconds, that these animals kill other mammals, this one focused on how they are "friends" with humans. In fact, it opens with a kid in a kayak paddling out to see his "friend." I was horrified. Sea World was changing the whole idea of how humans are supposed to interact with nature, and that's somewhat dangerous. I wonder how many kids have an impression of these animals as sweet friendly dolphins who just want to play. After all, isn't that all Tilly wanted to do? Isn't that the same impression the trainers give the orcas, yet the orcas can't play with them the way they'd normally play with their friends.

If people want to see killer whales, the wild is the place to go. While I'll admit that I do like seeing the whales at Sea World, I hate seeing the shows. It's a perversion that's proving to be too dangerous, and I don't understand why Sea World can't transform itself into more of a zoo than an entertainment industry. Are the Busch Gardens employees performing stunts with the tigers? Nope. They have them do a few simple behaviors without a human being any closer than fifteen feet away. Therefore, the public learns that tigers are beautiful and interesting, but humans need to keep their distance. Isn't that the message we should always deliver about animals?

I talked to a friend today about the past tricks (and they are tricks, NOT "behaviors) that these killer whales have done in the past courtesy of Sea World. One occurred in the late 80's and involved a sea lion riding on the stomach of a killer whale as it swam around the pool while Simon's "Call Me Al" played in the background. To this day, it's still shocking to think of an "educational" establishment staging something like that. A few years later, the killer whales would slide out on a small wet platform, and children were quickly placed on their backs. This "behavior" was stopped when the killer whales thought it was funny to try and back up into the water with the kids still on them while the trainers posed hands raised for pictures. Hmmmmm. Something isn't right there either.

When it comes down to it, Sea World is a circus, but they spend a lot more money on animal care and training, and there aren't a lot of land animals involved. Hence, the animal-human issues are brought down. However, the gag orders they DO get through on other trainers who have been hurt would raise some eyebrows. Obviously, most of that information is hidden from the public because the public either misinterprets it or doesn't see it.